Dear Coleen

BANNED FROM CONTACTING MY GRANDSON

I’m a 50-year-old man and, a while ago, I fell out with my daughter over my grandson. Since then, she has stopped all my contact with him. I know with the lockdown I can’t see him like I used to, but I’d love the opportunity to see him at a distance.

I’m far from perfect and have a colourful past to say the least, but I’m literally having a breakdown here because I’m missing my grandson so much. I love him and it really hurts.

I’ve started to feel very down about it, which isn’t like me. Have you any advice?

Coleen says

Well, it’s tricky to give a full answer because I don’t know the circumstances around the falling out with your daughter. But I understand how hard it must be to be separated from your grandson and not even be able to talk on the phone or exchange messages.

I think the best route would be to try to repair the relationship with your daughter instead of making the discussions all about seeing your grandson.

If you can work on your relationship with her and prove that she can trust you, then hopefully that’ll lead on to you being able to rekindle the relationship with your grandson.

Be the bigger person and reach out to her and, if you have anything to apologise for or make amends for, then swallow your pride and do it. I think one thing this lockdown has brought home to us all, is how vital our close relationships are and I think it’s made many of us realise that we need to nurture those relationships.

So pick up the phone or, better still, send an email laying out how you feel and what your hopes are. Sometimes it’s easier to be honest in a letter than it is face to face.

In the meantime, why not start collecting some things for your grandson that you can give to him when, hopefully, you do get to see him, so he knows that you were thinking about him during the time you were apart. It might help you feel better, too.