Dear Coleen

NINE-YEAR-OLD IN A MELTDOWN OVER LOCKDOWN

Over the past couple of weeks, my nine-year-old son has really struggled with lockdown. He’s an only child and I think he’s missing the social contact with classmates and friends.

He’s been extremely rude, quite aggressive and won’t do anything he’s told. It’s almost as if he’s regressed to being a toddler again.

My husband and I are very stressed by it, not least because we are both trying to work and spend most of our time walking on eggshells, trying to keep our son happy. Can you help?

Coleen says

It’s tough for that age group. I’ve had lots of letters from parents with kids a similar age who are also struggling.

At nine, they’re almost past the toy stage and it’s more about physical play and investigating things. They have a lot of energy and need more stimulation and, right now, that’s very hard.

Routine is crucial – if you can come up with a new one over the next few weeks, I think that’ll help.

It’s not easy with work commitments, but if you and your husband can forge one between you, I think you’ll see the benefit.

It’s an emotional rollercoaster for us all. I had a bad day yesterday and if I’d been nine, it would probably have come out as a meltdown.

Your son doesn’t yet have the capacity to think, ‘It’s just a bad day, tomorrow will be better’ and move on.

A change of scene will break the monotony too – go to a park and kick a ball around or just go let him climb trees. I think most kids are a bit over tech right now too.

And talk to him – tell him you know it’s a tough situation and ask him what he’d like to do.

Tell him he’s coping really well. But don’t give yourselves a hard time. Everyone with small kids is going to be finding it hard too.