Time to mark heroics of our sibling carers

IT’S taken a global pandemic to bring out both the best and the worst of people.

Although a minority have been spitting at strangers, hiking product prices and selling bogus PPE, the rest have been clapping for our carers, displaying rainbows of support and appreciating frontline workers.

Yet us special needs siblings are the frontline workers who never seem to get much of a say. During lockdown, my autistic brother and I have gone on daily walks and it’s made me realise just how different things can be for us.

For most people, going out for a walk is simply that – you get up and head out.

But when you have a sibling with special needs, things get a bit more complicated.

You often have to avoid main roads so the sound of vehicles isn’t overbearing; map out routes with seating areas for potential breaks and/or minor ailments; and scowl at people blasting music out of cars until they have the common decency to turn it down.

However, if you have a sibling with special needs during a public health emergency, things become even more complicated.

You often have to act as a human shield to prevent the unnecessary pushing of the button at the traffic lights; calculate an area’s socio-economic ranking to try and anticipate dog-fouling levels; and glare at people who don’t give you 2m of social distancing on a near-empty street.

So regardless of your unconditional love for your sibling, spending time with them can be tiring. But now, it can be exhausting.

Clare Kassa of Sibs, a charity supporting siblings of disabled people, said: “For many siblings, life is already challenging. Work, hobbies and family support all provide an important break for siblings to develop their own identity and have their own needs met.

“Lockdown means parents are facing increased difficulties, often without external support. There is an increased pressure on siblings to take on carer roles.”

It is therefore important that we look after our own mental health and wellbeing as well that of our siblings. Sibs is offering information and guidance on its website for the estimated 1.7 million UK adults who grew up with a disabled brother or sister.

It also has a dedicated website for the 5% of under-16s who have a disabled sibling, featuring a safe and moderated chat forum.

The current situation is difficult for everyone but it’s time to give a shout out to special needs siblings doing everything to protect brothers and sisters from Covid-19.