Dear Coleen

FAMILY WON’T STOP TELLING PEOPLE I’M GAY

I’m a 20-year-old girl and during lockdown I came out to my parents as lesbian. I guessed they probably already knew, plus I’d started dating someone seriously at university, so I felt it was the right time to say something about it.

As I expected, they were pretty cool about the news, but now they’re telling anyone who’ll listen about how proud they are of their gay daughter. They mention it on family Zoom calls and they’re constantly asking me questions about when I knew and who I’d dated in the past and so on.

I’m glad it’s out there and that they’ve taken it well, but I’m also quite a shy, private person and don’t really want my personal business broadcast everywhere.

How should I tell them this?

Coleen says

Well, good for you for coming out and good for your parents for making you feel so accepted.

I think it’s a case of your parents going a bit over the top to prove to you that they don’t have a problem with your sexuality.

They probably haven’t stopped to think about whether it’s making you feel uncomfortable.

It sounds as if you have a great relationship with them, so why not just say casually that you love the fact they’ve been so accepting, but you also find being the centre of attention a bit embarrassing, so could they rein it in a bit and take their excitement level down a notch or two?

Also, I think as time goes on, it’ll just feel ‘normal’ and it’ll stop being something to be so demonstrative about!

But I think it’s wonderful you have such supportive parents who take an active interest in your life and wellbeing.