Dear Coleen

GRIEF-STRICKEN OVER LOSS OF MY SON

I have recently lost my son and I’m not coping at all well.

My girls have been helping to keep me sane during this terrible time, but I wish I wasn’t here.

I don’t know what to do or where to turn in this situation and would appreciate your advice.

Can you help?

Coleen says

I’m very sorry for your loss. Thank you for reaching out to me – that’s what you have to keep doing. You need to reach out to loved ones and professionals, and allow people to support you.

Talk to your GP about grief counselling, and it’s also worth contacting bereavement charity cruse.org.uk. If you ever need to talk to someone urgently at any hour of the day or night, then call the Samaritans on 116 123.

You have lost a child recently, so you are not going to be coping. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be OK. Grieving and healing take time and you have to take things day by day.

Some days you’ll feel like getting up and engaging with the world and other days you won’t – you’ll want to pull the duvet over your head and cry. That’s OK too.

I’m sure you’ve been doing your best to be strong for your girls, but you need help as well.

If you can go for counselling, you’ll be able to let it all out, which you might not feel you can do in front of your girls. And tell your friends and family what you need from them – whether it’s practical or emotional support.

Nothing I can say will take this pain away right now, but I know from speaking to bereaved people that grief counselling has been a lifeline. Stay in touch and let me know how you’re doing.