Moonshot lunacy’s Boris being honest
AT first, like everyone surely, I assumed it was a snarky nickname made up by one of his detractors.
But no, it’s really, officially called Operation Moonshot.
The definition of a moonshot is “something generally believed to be impossible”.
So our greatest hope at the moment is a plan even the Prime Minister openly admits doesn’t stand a chance.
This is obviously staggering – because it’s the first time Boris Johnson has ever been honest with us.
Even more miraculously, Operation Moonshoot means that for the first time, we cannot be let down by this Government.
Boris might as well have added that each of the 10 million people to be tested every day would be flown there by unicorns.
From the off, absolutely no-one is expecting any of this to happen, so we can’t be disappointed. We know where we stand.
It’s like that book that revolutionised the dating world back in 2004, urging women to stop making excuses about why potential partners hadn’t been in touch, and recognise what was really going on instead.
Boris Johnson is Just Not That Into Us. It’s not an ideal situation, admittedly, but at least our eyes are open.
The other bonus of Operation Moonshot for the Government is that it will be their only move in
recent history that won’t require an excruciating U-turn 10 minutes after being announced.
The opposite of not doing something clearly ridiculous and imaginary is taking sensible, real action – so we can rest assured there’s zero chance of that.
If only Boris had drunk the truth serum a bit earlier. His infamous “world-beating” Test and Trace system has this week been denounced by doctors as an “absolute shambles.”
Does that have a ring to it, or what? If he’d gone with that, when it failed as spectacularly as it has, instead having to fudge figures, misdirect and back-pedal, he could have claimed it as a huge success.
Operation Absolute Shambles has more than delivered what was promised – which would be another first for this Government.
The links now being made between Rishi Sunak’s restaurant scheme and the rise in transmission rates would be easier to bluster out of if only that had been accurately named, too.
Everyone would have known exactly where they were with Eat Out To Help Coronavirus Out.
The Government’s ment s plans being honestly titled ed will hopefully continue – because ecause setting the example to disillusioned sillusioned future generations that hat the truth does have some value alue would be the very least they could do.
And, much more importantly, because it will be easier for them in the long run. n. A few ideas for them to consider... der...
Operation Distraction straction From Something hing Else
Being open about it being a distraction would ould be so groundeaking groundbreaking it would get lots ts of attention, thereby ereby coming full circle rcle and actually providing oviding a distracon. distraction. A double bluff which hich ensures they win n again, like they always ways do, no matter what hat mwah ha ha etc
Project Slightly tly Better Than Nothing
A promise that t it is very nearly impossible to o break – and even if they do they can shrug, point to the title of the project, and take ke the rest of the week off.
Operation Turn rn A Blind Eye
In which Boris oris asks nothing of the Great British public c he hasn’t presumably expected from anyone he’s e’s been in a relationship with.
Yes, his behaviour haviour may not be entirely exemplary, but t if we all just look k the other way and pretend everything’s erywe’ll fine, we’ll be much happier. ier.
La la la la.
Our greatest hope is a plan PM admits doesn’t stand a chance