Covid-19 has sucked oxygen of publicity from bleating celebs
IT’S time we gave some attention to the forgotten victims of Covid.
Because God knows they’ve gone the extra yard to seek it. I’m talking about celebrities who through the closing down of film sets, concert halls and TV studios, have been denied the oxygen that pumps self-esteem around their fragile egos and are now going cold turkey.
The symptoms have been there since lockdown. There was the early showboating snif f les when minor stars recorded songs they prayed would go viral under the guise of thanking care workers.
That grew into a full-on bout of exhibitionist coughing with the video of 22 mostly A-list actors in their lavish homes singing a line each ach of John Lennon’s Imagine, in the e hope they would be sainted.
Sadly, it had the opposite effect leading to a global vomiting pandemic, demic, and scathing remarks like these e from Ricky Gervais: “They’re going ‘my y film’s coming up and I’m not on telly –I – I need to be in the public eye’.”
So our forgotten heroes switched tack, opting g instead for personal l interventions to o remind the world d they’re still alive and d open for bookings.
Madonna has just st announced she’s e’s writing and directing ga a film about one of the he greatest natural ral phenomenons of the he past 40 ye a r rs: s : Her career.
Here’s what she told old Instagram: “I want t to convey the incredible ble journey that life has as taken me on. There are so many inspiring stories and who better to tell it than me?”
We’ll get a Covid vaccine way before we get one to treat that strain of self-infatuation. And talking of Instagram, this week the Kim Kardashians and Gwyneth Paltrows announced they were leaving the site, which sells their brand to millions, in protest at its parent compan company Facebook’s failure to stop the spread of “misinformation and hate”. Which sounded virtuous. Until you realised it was only a 24-hour withdrawal, so merely gut-churning virtue signalling.
Such woke posturing has inspired the Tory’s favourite (only?) comedian, Jim Davidson, to go on YouTube and tell dance group Diversity they should do a routine based on black men mugging people, before trotting out the 1970s Love Thy Neighbour act he would now be delivering to three racists and their dog above a Torbay pub, if not for Covid.
But the faded celebs surpassing themselves in the quest to stay relevant are the ones who have suddenly become expert virologists, lecturing us on why we should stop acting like petrified lemmings.
Denise Welch, God bless her, has turned from occasional Loose Women gossiper to the Patron Saint Of CovidCowered Martyrs, tearfully denouncing all this scientific “scare-mongering”.
And Noel Gallagher and Ian Brown have joined the David Icke-worshipping ping loons l by denouncing face masks, desp despite their views about the pand pandemic being as relevant as those of an Al Jolson tribute act intervening on Black Lives Matter.
F Fair play to Jedward for taking t them on and adding another bizarre twist to the most surreal of years. Who’d have thought it p possible to be in agreement on a social issue with the Mike and Bernie Win Winters of pop ahead of the ma main forces behind Oasis and The Stone Roses?
What? J Jedward are also urging people peo on Twitter to burn JK Row Rowling’s latest book so, like the rest, they’ve only re-sur re-surfaced to remind us th they’re not homeless buskers yet?
Yeah, you’re right. Let’s pray for them all.
We’ll get a vaccine before we get one to treat strain of self-infatuation