DAUGHTER NEEDS TO DUMP LOSER BLOKE

Dear Coleen

My daughter is 30 and has been with her boyfriend for five years, and they live together. She is beautiful inside and out, has a good job and a lovely circle of friends, but this man is not good enough for her and she can’t see it. Or she can see it, but she won’t face up to it.

He won’t show any commitment to anything, even though she’d love to get married, and he’s also miserable and lazy. I know lots of mothers think their kids can do better than the partners they’ve chosen, but it’s true in this case.

The problem is, she lacks confidence, which is incredible to me as she has so much going for her. I know I shouldn’t interfere, but what can I do?

Coleen says

She’s still young and can make a great life with someone else if that’s what she wants.

But ending a relationship isn’t easy – for example, I read somewhere that, on average, it takes two years from the time someone starts thinking about ending a marriage to getting to the divorce stage. Your daughter has invested five years of her life in this man.

As a parent it’s frustrating because you have to allow your kids to make their own decisions, but you can work on boosting her confidence and self-esteem.

Remind her how great she is and if she feels self-confident and empowered, it will help her to make the right choices.

You might be tempted to tell her all the rubbish things about her partner, but don’t.

Instead, advise her to be honest with him about what she wants from her future, which will start a conversation and it might make a decision easier.