Let’s do this together

It’s the countdown to Halloween in our house – that time of year when The Dark Lord plays th the annual l game of f “Will it be the ketchup or fake blood on the carpet that finally makes mum lose her s***?”

My daughter has reached that age when the magic of Christmas is becoming another item on the Amazon wish list. Yet the eerie possibilities of celebrating All Hallows’ Eve are endless for tweenagers, mainly because they get the chance to dress up as “sexy ghouls”.

I worry that on this one night of the year our ghost ancestors come all the way back to land of the living, only to find everyone now wearing fishnet stockings and push-up bras.

As we’re currently under Tier One restrictions, I’ve allowed The Dark Lord to invite four friends around for a scary movie on Saturday night.

“Have you decided which miserable wretches the patriarchy destroyed over the ages you want to dress up as this year?” I gave my daughter a knowing look.

“Perhaps midwives burned as witches by incompetent male doctors in the 17th century?” I suggested.

“Or pox-infected mothers who were never even told their husband had given them and their babies syphilis in the Victorian times? Or my favourite – force-fed suffragettes chained to the railings because they wanted the vote?”

“Do get off the soap box, Mother,” she sighed. “We’re going to be purgers.”

“Brilliant!” I enthused. “The horrific medieval treatment of purging people of their black bile to cure their bad humours is the perfect fancy dress. Although the leeches may be tricky to get,” I attempted to get into the spirit of things.

“No, purgers as in the horror movie, The Purge,” she corrected me. And before I could explode, she quickly added, “We haven’t seen the film – the trailers are scary enough. But we want to wear the masks and carry baseball bats.”

I suspect we’ll have to do the Hammer House of Horror version as we’ve only found two rounders bats so far.

Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.

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