Dear Coleen

HOW CAN I FIND SOMEONE TO LOVE?

I’m a 30-year-old single man who hates online dating. Apps and dating sites have never worked out for me, but there are no other options at the moment in terms of meeting people.

Lots of my friends have had success with dating apps, but not me.

I feel left behind and really want to meet someone, but I’m losing faith.

Any advice on how I can improve my success rate with women?

Coleen says

I’m 55, twice divorced and I’ve thrown my hat into the ring of online dating. Yes, at times I thought, “If this is all there is, I’ll have to be alone for ever”. But then I did meet someone lovely. Look, it’s like any form of dating – you might meet someone in the pub, but two days later you decide you don’t like them after all.

It might help to look at your expectations. One of the problems with online dating is that, initially, it’s completely focused on what they look like.

I’ve swiped left for the majority because all you have is a pic, but maybe if I’d got to talk to those guys, half of them might have been a good match.

When I was a lot younger, one of my brother’s friends (who’s still on his own to this day) wouldn’t date a girl unless she was “perfect”. If her nails weren’t done, but everything else was right, it was a deal breaker. Even at 18, I remember telling him, “No one is perfect”.

However, there will be someone who’s perfect for you. I think you should carry on doing it – what have you got to lose?

Try to just have fun with it – that’s what I did, especially now we can’t get out to bars to socialise.

And stop worrying – you’re only 30! I realise you might feel peer pressure, but don’t give in to it. Be your own person.