CAN I ASK EX TO FATHER A SIBLING FOR OUR CHILD? Coleen says

Dear Coleen

I have a gorgeous daughter, who’s nearly four, with my ex-boyfriend. We had a really short-lived relationship – we broke up after only four months and then I discovered I was pregnant with our little girl.

We’ve actually remained brilliant friends and he makes co-parenting easy. My dilemma is, I’ve been getting very broody for another baby, but I’m single. I’d also love my daughter to have a sibling, as I was an only child and hated it.

Can I ask my ex to father a brother or sister for our daughter? I know he’d love it if we were together as a family, but I only ever want to be friends.

Can you help?

I think you have to be careful that he understands and accepts the terms you’re offering from the start. My worry is, if he’s still in love with you and wants you to be together as a family, this could be giving him false hope.

It sounds like you have a really good friendship and this proposal might complicate things and put stress on your relationship.

Also, just make sure that having another baby together isn’t a way of avoiding moving on from each other and all the change and upheaval that could come with that.

All you can do is be completely honest with him and listen to what he has to say. And don’t fall out with him if he turns you down.