I’M SO ANXIOUS ABOUT MY DAD REACHING 80

Dear Coleen

I’m a woman in my 40s and not usually an anxious person, but my dad is about to be 80 in April and I can’t stop thinking about it.

For some reason, that number has got to me and I’ve started thinking a lot about how much time I have left with him.

Obviously, I haven’t seen him for months because of lockdown, which makes it harder.

I’m thinking about my own age and mortality, too – in fact, it’s keeping me up at night.

I’d love some advice on how I can get some perspective.

Coleen says

I think everyone is coping with some level of anxiety at the moment. If you’d been seeing your dad normally, I doubt you’d have the same level.

But if you haven’t seen him for months, then this big birthday is going to have extra significance.

Milestone birthdays often make us reflect on our lives (and in some cases our mortality), but at the moment you probably have a lot of time to overthink it.

Hopefully by spring or early summer you will be able to see your dad, which will hopefully ease some of your anxiety.

You don’t say if you have siblings, but it might be a good idea to start talking to them or to other family members about how you’re going to mark your dad’s big birthday.

What special things could you do for him?

In the meantime, keep in touch with him as much as you can – if you find yourself worrying or thinking about him, pick up the phone and give him a call.