I’M ALONE NOW BUT MY SISTER HAS CUT ME OFF

Dear Coleen

Sadly, my wife passed away in January after getting Covid-19.

Since then, my sister has been told on at least two occasions that I’m now living alone and haven’t worked for eight months – yet she refuses to get in touch.

We lost contact about 20 years ago when our parents died and she decided she wanted nothing more to do with me. I never really understood why, although we were never close. I’m 62 and she’s 65.

When our parents died, she made all the funeral arrangements and sold their house without me being involved. Around that time, my wife and I were living in a B&B while we waited for a council flat.

To my knowledge, I’ve never done anything to upset her, but now I have no one. Can you advise?

Coleen says

It’s a shame you don’t know why your sister cut you off – have you asked her for an explanation?

Perhaps if you wrote again (or sent a message via another relative or friend) and told her you’d like to understand why she feels the ways she does, you might get a response.

You can also mention you’d like to hear from her and build bridges if she wants to get in touch.

From your letter, it sounds as if other people might have told her about your wife, but you haven’t reached out to her yourself.

I’m very sorry to hear about your wife’s death and it might help to get some bereavement counselling – speak to your GP or get in touch with cruse.org.uk.

When the country begins opening up again, you can start getting out, seeing friends or making new connections.

It’s been a very hard time, especially for people living alone and struggling with other big life events, so it’s important to reach out to who you can.