HER SON HAS BULLIED MY BOY FOR TOO LONG

Dear Coleen

My friend’s son is bullying my son and he’s been doing it for about four years now. My son does fight back, but the other boy is unpredictable – one day he’ll play nicely and the next he says horrible things and teases him.

The problem is, his mother is so nice, but she doesn’t help to solve the situation. She thinks it’s “just a boy thing”.

She and her family are like family to me and I don’t want to fall out with them, but I need to help my son with this. I’d love your advice.

Coleen says

This is very confusing for your son – he does not know where he stands with this boy or what reaction he’s going to get from one day to the next.

I don’t know why your friend doesn’t tackle it, Maybe she’s struggling with her son’s behaviour and doesn’t know what to do about it, or maybe she’s simply in denial.

However, if you have a good relationship, you should be able to solve this without falling out.

I don’t know how old the children are, but it’s not a “boy thing” and it shouldn’t be about your son “fighting back”, it should be about teaching this other boy that this is not the way to treat other people and there should be consequences when he bullies.

You obviously can’t tell her how to parent her child, but you can explain to her how upsetting this is for your son and that you don’t want him in this situation.

In the meantime, give the boys some time apart and focus on your son’s positive friendships. Your friendship doesn’t have to be centred around the children.