YOU’RE A STAR... and, if nobody else sees it, your dad always will

ONE of my most treasured possessions is the letter my father wrote to me when I left home to join the Manchester United Class of ‘92.

For many dads, pride is often defined by events like graduations, weddings or taking their sons to their first match. But that letter will always take pride of place in my heart – and now it’s my turn.

My son Charlie, who will be 18 next month, signed his first professional contract for Manchester United this week.

It’s hard to convey a father’s emotions in the spoken word, so I’ve written down how it feels.

This is my letter to Charlie. It’s not Shakespeare, but it’s from the heart and it tells the world how proud I am of his achievement. I hope all parents and their children are lucky enough to share a moment in time like this.

DEAR CHARLIE,

SOMETIMES feelings are the most difficult things to put into words, so I thought I would do something different, something you would probably never expect of me... and write you a letter.

Not because you need me to remind you of how precious you are, but maybe to highlight that you can be anything you ever want to be, regardless of what anyone says; and that I am here for you.

I know that you will grow up to be a strong man and your personal traits, ingrained in your being, give me the confidence that you will also grow up to be a diverse man with the ability to appreciate others’ views and express yourself better than I will ever be able to.

Even when things around you seem tough, you will still be you. And nothing, or no one, can take that away. No one will stop you from being the best that you can be. You have that inside you.

Your dad is far from perfect, and sometimes you will see me getting it wrong. But each of us has our own characteristics, and that’s what makes us what we are. That’s what makes all of us our own person.

Remember that is never a weakness, it is your strength, so own it and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Don’t let society determine what is right or wrong for you.

You will make up your own mind on things, and remember that you will not always be right.

However, your decisions will be your choices. Life is not always about getting things right all the time; life involves making mistakes, too.

Remember success never comes easy and on the journey you will make mistakes, win some and lose some, get some things right and wrong. But always keep in mind that it is not about how many times you fall down – it’s about how many times you get up after falling.

Live your life believing in yourself, believing you can be anything and do anything, because only then can what you believe in become a reality.

I am not going to lie: The world is not always kind. However, have faith in yourself and your capability, and you can achieve anything.

Never – and I repeat, never – let anyone tell you your worth, tell you that you cannot do something or determine what is good for you.

You are a star and always will be a star.

And remember, if no one else can see it, your father always will.

Never accept anything less than you deserve – in society or at work – for being individual. You are more than equal to anyone and therefore it is your right to be treated and rewarded fairly.

Don’t let anyone try to “fix” you. You don’t need fixing. The systems around you will be broken at times and they will be the things that need to be fixed.

Be authentic and true to yourself. If you grow to love or have a passion for something, then do it and follow it, but remember it’s your choice and no one else’s.

Never let the achievements of another man or woman – including me – ever make you feel that the journey ahead is difficult for you. Yes, the journey will be paved with difficult obstacles for you as my son, and it could just be because I’ve been in the media spotlight for so long.

As much as I (and so many other achieving individuals, men and women) are trying to remove these, by doing things like creating the Savage Foundation, I know the reality is that it will probably not change in my lifetime.

However, try and face the difficulties head on, challenge those who are not fair and always be fair and truthful in what you do.

Believe in your capabilities, knowledge and experiences. Never feel like an imposter or allow anyone to make you feel like one.

Own your space – it is a right, not a privilege.

Remember my wish is not for you to follow in my path; it is for you to make your own path and be even better than me at whatever you do.

I wish you every success for the future and I will be there for you as long as I can, like your grandad was for me. I know you don’t need me to fight your battles. You are and always will be a strong, independent man who can, and will, achieve anything on your own merit.

To my detriment, it has taken me a long time to learn – and you, too, will learn – that happiness is not a goal, like getting a big house or making a million.

It’s finding a purposeful and meaningful life which is most likely to bring happiness.

You are my world, my purpose and my being – and I’m your dad.

That’s it in three letters: Your plain old ‘dad’, not what others might see looking in from the outside world, just me... I’m your dad whose love for you will never, ever lessen!

Love, Dad.

And here, just because it still gives me goosebumps – and tears – is the text of my dad’s letter to his teenage son as he left home in Wrexham to become a £29.50-a-week scholar at Old Trafford.

I know he would be so proud of his grandson now.

DEAR ROB,

JUST a note to say what I find difficult to say in words to your face.

I’ve been a lucky man. As well as being lucky enough to have found a woman like your mum I have been the luckiest man in the world to have two boys like you and Jonathan.

You now have an opportunity that millions of other young men would give their right arm for. Please don’t waste it.

You have a God-given gift, so use it. And remember hard work supplies its own reward.

Take my advice and be wary of workmates who forever moan about everything under the sun. You usually find that the ones who moan are the ones who don’t like hard work.

It goes without saying that no matter what problems you have when you’re in Manchester, no matter how big or small, your family – Mum, Jonathan and me – are always there to help. We will all miss you, but most of all Mum. She will miss you like hell so try to ring home as often as possible.

Finally, never stop believing in yourself. We know you are the best so believe in yourself.

There is a great deal of difference between selfconfidence and being a big head. Fortunately being a big head has never been a problem with you, so be confident.

I love you lots, the best of luck and work hard.