Second lockdown is now well past its cell-by date

I TOLD myself I wouldn’t, but I have turned over a new leaf.

No, not of behaviour, that remains impulsive and occasionally immature.

On the wall of my prison cell, the upstairs office, I had a chart of 90 days to cross off during the first lockdown. And I religiously did that every morning.

It was very satisfying to take it down in the summer when our first sentence had been served.

When lockdown two came last October,

I reluctantly hung up a list of 163 days, taking me right through to Easter when the ordeal must surely end.

Not a bit of it. Having crossed off the last day, I turned the sheet over and started a new leaf again, this time with 81 days before we are finally released on June 21. If this proves to be a false dawn, like the other two, I won’t bother with a fourth table of temptation. It would be too much to build up hope yet again.

On the latest list, there are 68 days to go. I’m not going to mark the various dates of restrictions are being eased, because they might not be.

The Johnson Road Map to Normality is more like an Atlas of Narnia, a hotchpotch of lanes leading nowhere and screeching U-turns. I’ll rely instead on the signs of the seasons.

If it’s anything like decent, get out the walking stick.

I don’t need a map to show me the path through the fields to my allotment, or up the crag to the classic Yorkshire stone follies of Wainman’s Pinnacle and Lund’s Tower.

From the top of the tower, on a clear day you can see the Lake District 40 miles away. I just wish the future was as clear.