Dear Coleen

TEEN DAUGHTER IS LONELY AND WON’T GO TO UNI

My daughter should have been going to university this year, but she doesn’t see the point. She’s a bright girl, but she barely did any work during homeschooling.

She’s lost touch with a lot of her friends and her teachers have all been worried about her.

I’m a single mum, so as much as I tried, I didn’t have the time to spend helping her because I had to work, so she was left to her own devices. She says she’s going to leave school and get a job instead, but I keep telling her there aren’t any out there, which makes her feel even more demoralised.

Now she’s just spending most days in her room. I’m so worried about her.

Coleen says

Well I think you can start by not being so negative.

You tell her that there aren’t any jobs, but why not help her look for one if that’s what she wants to do? Perhaps university isn’t right for her so why not suggest she has a gap year instead?

My daughter didn’t want to go to university, so she went and got a job in Superdrug.

It really changed her in such a good way. She’s quite shy, but she had to speak to customers, which made her more outgoing.

She did it for two years and absolutely loved it. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do when she was your daughter’s age, and I don’t think every kid has to follow the same path.

Your daughter may be clever enough for uni, and inside you might be thinking “please go”, but don’t put any pressure on her.

Don’t beat yourself up, it’s been a hard time for everybody, but I think you need to talk to your daughter about what she wants and really listen to her answer.