Dear Coleen

I’ve recently noticed a woman I don’t know constantly commenting on my husband’s Facebook posts and liking all his photos.

When I asked him who she was, he said she was an old friend from school who had moved back into the area. My instincts told me something was up so I checked his phone. There were lots of calls between them. And while the texts weren’t sexual, they send to each other literally every day, with little jokes and talk of arranging to meet up for a coffee when lockdown is over.

When I confronted him he said she’s just an old friend, they’re back in touch, and he can’t see what my problem is. He promised he’d stop texting her if it bothered me that much, but I when checked his phone again they were still calling and texting each other just as often as before. I just don’t know what to think. We haven’t been very happy for quite a long time.

We used to argue a lot, but now we don’t even bother rowing and we hardly ever have sex. Despite all this I don’t want to lose him.

Do you think there’s anything going on with this woman?

I can’t say if there is anything going on between them, but what he’s doing is wrong, in my opinion.

If you’re saying you used to row a lot but now you don’t bother, and you’re not having sex, then I really think you need to talk about that and put more effort into your marriage.

Sit him down and say: “Look, I know things aren’t great, but I really don’t want to lose you so can we try and work it out?”

This friendship might be innocent at the moment, but it could soon become flirty and then who knows where things will end up with them.

What I will say is, if your instincts are screaming at you that something isn’t right, then you should listen to them. I don’t think he’s having an affair, but you’ve still found out he’s texting and calling her when you told him you didn’t feel comfortable with that, which I think is a bit disrespectful.

You need to have a sit down with him and have a proper chat about what’s really going on.

I checked his phone – they text and call every day