Dear Coleen

LOVE AFFAIR IS IN A LOCKDOWN LIMBO

I left my husband in February last year so I could be with my married boyfriend.

We work together and we’ve been having an affair for two years. However, just after I left my husband, lockdown hit, and my boyfriend claims that’s why he can’t leave his wife – and it’s been a year now.

He calls me regularly and tells me he loves me, and we’ve been having regular sex in the last year. But he’s still no closer to leaving his wife, whereas I’m starting divorce proceedings.

I thought we’d be together by now, but it just hasn’t worked out like that. Whenever I ask him what’s happening, he says he feels guilty about leaving the children, or is trying to find the right time to do it, but I’m worried he’s never going to leave her.

My friend saw him and his wife and their two sons out for a walk recently, and she said they all looked very happy together. Is he ever going to leave her?

Coleen says

If you want my honest answer, no I don’t think he is. And it’s very likely that his poor wife doesn’t even know anything about you, or that her husband is having an affair.

However, that isn’t a green flag to run and tell her what has been going on, which will just cause mayhem for everybody involved.

What you should be saying to him is: “Look, you’re playing me at the moment and I’ve had enough. When you’re serious about what you want, get back in touch with me, because I don’t just want to be your bit on the side.”

You’ve kept your end of the bargain and have started divorce proceedings while he’s done nothing. You could be writing to me again in another three years at this rate.