Let’s do this together

A suspiciously thin, floppy package turned up in the post for The Dark Lord this week.

“Crikey – that’s not another flag, is it?”

I asked, giving her the envelope which she quickly opened and then hung on her bedroom door on top of all the other flags.

We’ve had the pansexual flag, the bisexual flag and now we have the non-binary flag, not to mention the Minecraft and anti-racism flags.

In fact the Dark Lord’s bedroom has so many flags flying, it looks like the outside of the European Parliament in Strasbourg, but with fewer gravy stains.

These identities are the new generation’s thing, and what I’ve learned is not to get outraged or pay too much attention.

After all, my generation had punk and sepsis from piercing our own ears – what harm’s a few flags and sexual identities that sound like kitchen equipment.

“Oh God, Mum, you’re sooooo heteronormative and boring,” she accused me. Apparently being monogamous or straight is a bit dull now, and many young people like to say they’re queer, even if they’re about as kinky as beans on toast.

“Oh I do beg your pardon, but I can’t help being straight – I didn’t ask to be born this way,” I said defensively, sounding more like a teenager than a teenager.

I added: “And I hope you’re not being heterophobic about my suburban, monogamous ways?” She rolled her eyes at me, but she smiled at the irony, and said: “No I’m not, and we shouldn’t have so many labels anyway, Mum.”

“I agree,” I said, giving her a hug, “but perhaps we shouldn’t have so many flags either.

“Your room’s about to set sail like the Jolly Rodger… Er, actually am I allowed to say that now, or is it othering to pirates?”

Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.