SCARED TO ADMIT I FANCY MY WORKMATE

Dear Coleen

I really don’t know what to do about a situation I’m in with a female colleague.

We’ve been good friends for a few years and I’ve always got on well with her husband.

However, recently I noticed she was wearing her wedding rings on her right hand and now they are gone completely.

Since then I’ve been having romantic thoughts about her, but I’m worried about going there, as I see her as a friend. I’m single and I know she doesn’t have children. How do I get past this before I say something wrong and ruin our friendship?

Coleen says

Well, it’s hard to fight your feelings. And maybe you always had these feelings for her to some extent, but dismissed them because you knew she was married. Now there’s a possibility she’s single, you’ve given yourself permission to acknowledge how you feel.

First of all, I’d find out if she’s split from her hubby and not just getting her rings cleaned at the jeweller! Just say you’ve noticed she’s not wearing her wedding rings and wondered if everything was OK at home.

It is a risk admitting to a good friend that you have romantic feelings for them – if the other person doesn’t feel the same, then it can spoil or at least change the friendship.

And, even if you do get together, you might realise you were better off as mates.

If you really don’t want to risk this friendship, then don’t. Look somewhere else for romance.

But sometimes it’s better to speak up instead of torturing yourself with ‘what ifs’, and then you can close the door on it and move on.