Sister’s moved in, never lifts a finger and has men back
Dear Coleen
My sister gave up her rented flat and moved in with me last summer because she didn’t want to be on her own during the pandemic.
I’m single too, but I own my flat, which has a garden and I thought it would be nice living with her and that we could help each other out.
However, it’s been a nightmare. She treats my place like a hotel, expecting me to do everything for her – she’s the youngest at 27 and quite spoiled.
She leaves dirty clothes hanging around, never makes a meal and never buys any food. It’s like she’s regressed to being a teenager.
Recently, she’s also brought different guys back to the flat, which I feel uncomfortable about, given we still need to be careful with Covid. A couple of them have stayed overnight and I’ve heard them having sex, which I think shows a total lack of consideration and respect for me.
It’s driving me mad and I want to ask her to leave, but our parents aren’t around – my dad passed away a few years ago and my mum lives abroad with her husband.
I feel responsible for her, but she’s crossing the line. Any advice?
Coleen says
Yes, just tell her! If she was 16 years old then I’d get it, but she’s 27 and she’s taking advantage of your hospitality.
Tell her if she wants to carry on staying with you, then there have to be some rules – tidy up your own mess and don’t bring random strangers back and put me at risk. If you want to sleep with guys, book into a hotel.
And if she doesn’t like the rules, then she can look for somewhere else to live. Tell her you’ll always be there for her and you love her, but you’re not her mum!
I think she’s using the fact that you’re siblings to get away with this – I’m sure if she’d moved in with a mate, she wouldn’t be treating their place like a hotel in the same way and would probably have asked before bringing guys back.
You don’t have to chuck her out on the street, but give her the opportunity to change and see how she reacts.
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She never buys any food and I can hear her having sex