Newly wedded son says he wishes he never got married
My son and his wife got married this summer after a few years together, but they’re both still young – he’s 24 and she’s 23. Recently, he came over and ended up in tears, admitting that he wished they’d never married and he thinks it’s over.
He said he had cold feet a couple of months before the wedding, but just put it down to nerves, but now he’s saying he should never have married her and doesn’t know what to do about it.
She’s unhappy, too, but I think she’s open to trying to make it work, while in his mind it’s over.
I feel heartbroken for both of them and don’t know how to advise my son for the best. My husband hasn’t been much help – he just got angry with my son because he doesn’t understand.
Apparently, my daughter-in-law’s parents have hit the roof, blaming my son and talking about wasting money and how to explain this mess to friends and relatives, who also spent money on gifts and so on.
I feel helpless. I’d love your opinion.
I don’t think it’s helpful to get angry or complain about money. Yes, it’s upsetting for all concerned, but your son would never make this kind of decision lightly.
I think it’s easy to get carried away by the wedding juggernaut, so it seems easier to go along with things, put it down to nerves and hope for the best, rather than back out when arrangements are so far down the line. I feel desperately sad for both of them.
I think it would help to reach out to the in-laws and talk about how you can help your children. I think it would mean a lot if they felt supported by all of you and also felt you didn’t judge them. It’s actually very brave to admit things aren’t working and to make a decision to end it now rather than struggle on for years.
I think relationship counselling could be beneficial to make sense of what’s happened and to also ease a separation.
Finally, no one should be worried about what other people think. I believe most people will just feel sad for them and have sympathy – they won’t be worried about how much money they’ve spent on a gift.
My daughterin-law’s parents have hit the roof