Let’s do this together

I’ve been having the same bedtime argument with The Dark Lord since she started school at six years old – and it’s not getting any easier. So I decided 2022 will be my year of not having a fight every night.

Like many kids, The Dark Lord goes fully nocturnal in the holidays, and then as school approaches, I have to claw the hours back so her sleep-deprived body can function again.

“It’s school again in three sleep’s time, so you need to rein in the late night gaming and living your best life with midnight snacks. I’d like you to be in bed at 10pm,” I said, opening negotiations with her on Saturday.

“Whaaaat? It’s still holidays. I’ll go to bed at 11.30pm on Sunday, and then at 11pm on Monday and then I’ll be fine,” she snapped, without taking her eyes off the screen.

“Yeah well, you think that’s fine but now you’re going to bed at midnight. And if I don’t wake you up, you’ll sleep through till midday, which tells me you still need 12 hours’ sleep,” I chipped in, trying to reason with the teenage despot.

She took great umbrage. “I’m not a child, I don’t need much sleep at all,” she said, sounding like a toddler who needs her lunchtime nap.

So on New Year’s Day I downloaded the BT app on my phone and set-up bedtime wifi controls.

Obviously, The Dark Lord took this as a personal violation of her human right to wifi, but three nights in, she’s stopped ranting, and started going to bed. It’s too early to tell yet, but she might even get up for school on time this year.

Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.