DOCTOR WHO TRAPPED IN TIME LOOP TERROR
As we embraced another new year, there was no doubting which old acquaintance I was looking forward to catching up with again.
The one which boasts a cast of mysterious characters, who hide behind a carefully constructed facade and employ a clever array of vocal diversions to shield their true identities.
No, not The Masked Singer. I routinely lose interest in that the minute I realise I can’t work out who’s behind the mask from their voice alone. Sorry, but the rest – the clues, the panel’s guesses and the online speculation – is just skippable noise and nonsense.
I am, of course, talking about The Apprentice, which many years after I
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christened it “Big Brother in business suits” is still going strong while Big Brother itself remains in mothballed oblivion.
More remarkably, The Apprentice is also still allowing Alan Sugar to take advantage of our licence fee cash and 20-odd hours of primetime BBC to promote his next business venture – yet poor old Nick Knowles is hauled over the coals for daring to wear a hard hat in a Shreddies advert. Whether you think we do as well as Lord Sugar out of the deal will probably depend on how much you enjoy watching a bunch of overconfident 20-somethings – and the odd stranded “oldie” – having their egos pricked.
It might also be a measure of how willingly you tolerate the fact that we have basically been watching the same show over and again for more
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than a decade now. The names and faces may change but the casting and storylining remain as brutal and targeted as the editing.
There was even a comforting familiarity about the ending of last night’s opener, as the winners won not because of their brilliance and ingenuity, but because they were slightly less of a car crash than the losers.
To be fair, there was one big change. Claude Littner was recovering from a fall, so his place was taken by Sugar’s first-ever winner, some suit called Tim Campbell (no, me neither).
This was a bold move. Can you imagine Paul Potts suddenly showing up on the Britain’s Got Talent panel or Steve Brookstein popping up next to his dear old pal Simon Cowell when/if The X Factor rises from its slumber?
Luckily, Tim was well aware of what was required of him – and he duly laughed at Sugar’s jokes in the boardroom for long enough for the camera to capture the mirth. Well done, Tim. You could go far in this process.
Campbell, Karren Brady & Sugar ‘‘ The winners were slightly less of a car crash than the losers
That’s exactly what millions of viewers said right before they switched off
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We need to escape from a desperate situation in which the same thing keeps happening over and over again