MATE WANTS A DATE BUT I’M PREGNANT

Dear Coleen

I split up with my partner a few weeks ago, but it’s complicated because I’m pregnant. We should have separated a long time ago, but we didn’t and here I am five months pregnant and on my own.

My ex says he’ll be supportive financially, but does not know how involved he’ll be in the baby’s life – what a jerk.

My dilemma is that a male friend, whom I haven’t seen in a while, reconnected with me and when I told him about the break up and that I was having a baby, he came to see me and we’ve spent a lot of time together since.

A few nights ago, my friend admitted he’s always had feelings for me, but never found the right time to tell me. I was shocked because I didn’t think he saw me that way. I’d be open to the possibility of a relationship, but it feels too soon. Any advice?

Coleen says

I agree – I think you need more time to put the break-up behind you and to focus on the pregnancy and making plans for the baby’s arrival.

Your friend has never found the right time to admit his feelings for you, so I’m wondering why he’s done it now when you’re pregnant and probably feeling vulnerable. I’d be careful about him stepping in to “rescue” you.

You don’t need rescuing and I’m sure you have plenty of friends and relatives you can call on for support.

If he’s willing to be there for you as a friend, then you could see how things develop. But don’t put extra pressure on yourself to get into another relationship. There’s no rush and you’ve got enough on your plate as it is. If he really likes you, then he’ll be happy to wait and take things at your pace.