CAUGHT HIM TEXTING ANOTHER WOMAN

Dear Coleen

I have been with my fella for 30 years and I have two grown-up children who live with us. Recently, I noticed a woman had texted him, saying she loves him and misses him, and he replied.

He insists he isn’t having an affair with her and that it’s “just some woman” texting him, but I know he’s texting her back.

Our relationship hasn’t been good for some time, but he won’t go unless we sell the house or I buy him out. Do you think he’s messing around with this other woman?

Coleen says

I think it’s highly possible he is. I love the way people use the word “just” – we’re “just” friends, she’s “just” some woman, and so on. Well, it’s obviously something!

Even if he hasn’t crossed the line into a physical relationship, he’s become emotionally intimate with another woman, he’s keeping the messages a secret from you and he’s dismissing your concerns when you’ve seen the texts. There’s something going on and he needs to be honest with you about what it is.

The question is, do you want to stay in this relationship that has been bad for some time? Would selling the house or buying him out be so bad? Maybe it would be the beginning of a new and better life for you and your kids.

You need to have a proper conversation about the problems in your relationship and if you want to work through them and stay together.

But this will require total honesty on both sides – and messaging other women cannot be part of the deal.