TROUBLED SON STUCK IN CUSTODY FIGHT

Dear Coleen

My son is desperately fighting for the right to see his seven-year-old daughter after going through an acrimonious divorce.

He also suffered a brain injury a few years ago and has struggled emotionally ever since.

He attempted to end his life because his ex-wife won’t allow him to see his daughter and his doctor put him on a course of anti-depressants.

What can he do when her solicitor, social services and Citizens Advice do not respond to his pleas and requests for help?

He has solicitor’s fees of thousands of pounds to pay, so he’s at the point where he can’t afford legal advice any more.

The court process for custody is going to take months.

I’d be grateful for any advice.

Coleen says

Personally, I think the system for fathers is outdated and desperately needs looking into, and even when rights are granted there can be lots of restrictions put in place.

It’s very sad and so damaging when someone uses a child to hurt an ex-partner, so if that’s the case I really feel for your son and the rest of your family.

It sounds as if you’re going down all the right channels. You don’t say if Cafcass is involved, but you can find more information at cafcass.gov.uk.

As a mum, I think the most important thing you can do is to support your son with his mental health and wellbeing, so he feels stronger and more able to cope with the process.

Antidepressants are a good short-term measure, but I think ongoing counselling is vital, so encourage him to speak to his GP about a referral or you can visit bacp.co.uk to find a private therapist in your area.

It’s very hard to watch your son go through this, but try to take things one step at a time. In the meantime, keep everything for your granddaughter – cards, gifts and so on. Trust that at some point she will want to have a relationship with her father.