HE DIVED IN WITH HIS PUBLIC PROPOSAL

A few days ago, when my boyfriend and I were staying with my family for the weekend, he got down on his knee and proposed to me with a ring.

I was so shocked and there were so many happy people around that I felt forced to say yes, without having the time to even think about it.

This kind of thing is so typical of him – not taking into account how I’m going to feel and doing things off the cuff or without thinking through the consequences.

I do love him, but I’m not sure I’m ready to commit to marriage.

Following two rough years through the pandemic, I feel we have issues to sort out, including money, jobs and other stuff. But what can I do now? Thanks to him everyone else is already planning the party.

Coleen says

Firstly, don’t concern yourself with other people – this is your life and it’s a big decision.

Don’t walk down that aisle until you’ve resolved your issues. Explain to your boyfriend how you feel and tell him that any wedding or party planning is on ice until you’ve talked about what’s worrying you and discussed how you’re going to move forward.

If you’re satisfied, great; if you reach a stalemate, then engagements get broken all the time. The important thing is to have these conversations before you take that big step to marriage.

As for his big romantic gesture, it doesn’t sound off the cuff or that he hadn’t thought about it – he had a ring and he’d obviously planned it.

I’m sure it was coming from a good place, but he clearly hadn’t picked up on how you’re feeling about the relationship.

If you haven’t told him how you feel, you can’t blame him for that. Talk to him.