WORRIED MY TEXTS SOUND OFFENSIVE

Dear Coleen

I’m not sure if anyone else has this problem, but I can’t seem to text or email without (apparently) coming off as rude, abrupt or offending someone, even when I’m trying to be funny.

It’s got to the point where I obsess over what I’ve written and worry about it afterwards. It happens to an extent at work, but more so with the class WhatsApp group at my son’s school. I’m sure parents literally swerve to avoid me in the playground.

Am I overthinking this and can you help please?

Coleen says

First, let’s deal with the class WhatsApp group – these are a nightmare, so my advice is just don’t get too involved. Stick to asking about homework and money for school trips, and don’t get dragged into any debates – life’s too short.

Look, I think it’s actually pretty easy to take texts or emails the wrong way or miss the point, plus we’re all so used to firing off messages these days without giving them a second thought. You can only be yourself and if people have a problem with that, so be it.

As long as you’re not being deliberately rude, I don’t think you should be worrying to this extent. Maybe these parents are a bit uptight and don’t have a sense of humour.

In a work context, you could always ask a colleague or your boss if they think you come off as rude or abrupt and get their take on it. They might be able to offer some advice.

You can always follow up a message with a friendly phone call – some things are better dealt with by talking.

Finally, a good tip, which I use all the time if I’m sending a message about something important, is to write it, then leave it for a day and read it again before pressing send.