BIG QUESTIONS of the week

1Liam Gallagher saying he can’t sleep at night. Is that because of a painful hip or ghosts of dead Beatles haunting him for all the songs Oasis ripped off?

2

How come, even when Tony Blackburn is talking about taking drugs, he sounds cheesier than an explosion in a Stilton factory?

3

Ken Barlow actor Bill Roache reaching 90. Is that sad proof that the best way to achieve longevity is to bore people senseless?

4

When celebrities say they’re still searching for love, do they mean still searching for someone to love them even more than they love themselves?

5

If the Commons carries on the way it is, will the BBC change the title of the Parliament channel to the Prime Minister’s Apology channel?