Yours, Siobhan Let’s do this together

Talk in Dark Lord Towers has turned to high finance as it turns out the teenager has a strategy to recession-proof our household in light of yet another interest-rate rise.

She’s been talking me into opening her own proper bank account instead of using one that’s linked to my banking app, where I keep a tight leash on her spending.

“If I could see how much pocket money I had in my account, then I would be much more careful,” she said, trying to sound sensible. Then adding, “I am very economical.”

“I think what you mean to say is you have a good understanding of economics, not that you’re economical,” I said, correcting her. “You’re not economical at all, in fact, you are the opposite of economical – you’re a flipping muppet with money.”

But TDL did convince me in the end that her own account would help her budget, and I reckon it’s never too early to start being fleeced by our high-street banks.

We tried to set up her account online but the ID confirmation failed, so we walked down to our local HSBC branch, which I haven’t visited in years. There were no counter staff, possibly because of customers like me, but a helpful chap standing by a rack of human-replacement machines took a copy of The Dark Lord’s passport.

He then gave her a form to sign for her digital signature. I think it was the first time she’s ever been asked to sign anything because she stopped and thought about it, then did the biggest, most extravagant name signing ever.

“That’s not your signature,” I said, laughing. “That’s the sort of flourish I’d expect from a Regency dandy. You’re not going to be able to sustain that.”

I tried to get the bank assistant to give her another go, but she insisted that it would be her signature for life.

I quite like her style though – starting her financial career with a signature like Lord Byron.

Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.