A TWO-HORSE RACE
Like you, I’ve been enjoying all those photos of dolled-up celebs including Penny Lancaster and Holly Willoughby at Royal Ascot thinking: “How come you’re not at work like the rest of us, you lazy gits?” I’ve also been praying for another one of those mass brawls between tanked-up, red-bracered City spivs, so I can ask when they’re going to change the name of Ladies’ Day to “I’ll Effin’ ‘Ave You If You Keep Lookin’ At My Lady Day”.
Talking of which, how come right-wing papers always photograph beautiful Ascot ladies before they’ve had a drink, smiling in fascinator hats and looking like Kate Middleton.
Yet when it’s Grand National week their photographers seek out the biggest of Aintree’s ladies at the end of the afternoon, lying legs akimbo, flat on their back, stone-cold drunk? Nothing to do with class, surely?