Republican gun lover’s mad joke about Jesus

ANOTHER week and more mad ramblings from America’s most unhinged politician, Lauren Boebert.

This week, following a spate of mass shootings, the crazy Colorado Republican representative saw fit to defend the right to own a semi-automatic rifle – the gun of choice for serial shooters.

Bonkers Boebert claimed that Jesus only died because he didn’t have enough AR-15s.

“The little Twitter trolls, they like to say, ‘Ah, Jesus didn’t need an AR-15. How many AR-15s do you think Jesus woulda had?’” Boebert said at the Charis Christian Centre in the state. “Well, he didn’t have enough to keep his government from killing him, so…”

No words.

Officials north of the border have identified who caused residents in British Columbia to lose internet, landline and mobile service for more than eight hours.

A beaver gnawed its way through an aspen tree which then fell on both hydro lines and a fibre-optic cable. Dam.

Indiana angler Jon Hoop’s fishing trip took a bizarre turn when, after landing a catfish, he found it had swallowed a giant sex toy.

A California petrol station manager is out of a job after accidentally charging customers just 69 cents per gallon for premium diesel instead of the recordhigh prices they should have paid.

Drivers stormed the Shell gas station in Rancho Cordova after word spread on social media.

The incident ultimately cost John Szczecina his job and the station about £16,500.

This week, the iconic Mystery Machine van from the 2002 Scooby-Doo film became available for three overnight stays in southern California on Airbnb.

Airport security in North Carolina stopped a man faking disabilities at Charlotte airport with almost two stones of cocaine hidden in the seat cushions of a motorised wheelchair.

Mike Prado, a Homeland Security Investigations deputy special agent, said: “His answers didn’t match up. His purported physical handicap did not match up. That was a tell-tale sign that there was something suspicious.”

Four packages of cocaine were discovered in the 22-year-old’s seat cushions. They had an estimated street value of £311,000. The high roller was charged with drug trafficking.

Fact: Lake Superior has enough water to cover all of North and South America in 1ft of liquid.

P.S.

Back after a couple of weeks away and a pal sent me a sign only Las Vegas could get away with. For one of Sin City’s jiggle joints called Little Darlings, it read: “AMBER! We HEARD that you need to earn $10,000,000. Audition today.”