Let’s do this together

I interrupt this programme to bring you a newsflash. I’m on a press trip this week to Puerto Rico. I know, I know – don’t hate me.

To mangle a Bonnie Tyler song, it’s a dirty job but someone (other than our very busy travel editor Nigel) has gotta do it.

And I AM working, you know. Those Caribbean cocktails won’t drink themselves.

The Dark Lord is beyond grumpy that she’s been left behind and forced to go to school. She’s been googling about the island and saying things like: “I’ve checked Puerto Rico’s green credentials, and mass tourism in the coastal areas has led to erosion of unspoiled landscapes – basically you’re part of the problem.”

“Rubbish,” I snapped, “I going to find out about Puerto’s Rico’s ecotourism. While YOU’RE part of the problem here – a drain on resources, destruction of your natural habitat, i.e. skanky bedroom, and a profound inability to switch lights off. Basically, we should ban you!”

I almost didn’t make my flight as I forgot to get my ESTA visa. Well, how was I to know you have to fly to America to get a connecting flight to the island’s capital, San Juan?

I also had a last-minute bikini problem. It seems to have shrunk since I last wore it over two years ago, which is strange as it hasn’t been near a washing machine.

Then I had the reverse problem trying to buy a floaty sundress to cover up in the evening. All I could find on the high street were the new puritan dresses that make you look like a human sacrifice, which I suppose I will be when the local mozzies get a load of my pasty flesh.

While I’m gone, the marvellous Amanda Killelea will be here from tomorrow, so keep the celebrity selfies, funny pet snaps and holiday and garden photos coming…

■ Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP. Please note, if you send us photos of your grandchildren, we’ll also need permission of one of their parents to print them... Thanks! Yours, Siobhan