Spread the word
My daughter-in-law Kim, who kindly does my shopping, gently asked if I really needed a 750g tub of butter each week.
I’ve been busted. I butter my toasted crumpets on the holey side so the butter sinks all the way through. Crumpets are no good with just a scraping of butter – they need to be saturated. And even if there’s a quarter of a crumpet left, I stop eating to smear on another layer so thick I can see my teeth in it. I’m delirious eating it and don’t notice the butter dripping on to my face until I see it solidified into my jowls and wrinkles when I’m washing my face in the mirror at night.