Daily Mirror



Dear Coleen

I’m 21 and in my first serious relationsh­ip. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months, it’s going well and I’m really happy with him.

He’s 23 and dated someone for a couple of years before we got together, so he’s more experience­d and tends to take the lead in our relationsh­ip.

The other night when we were in bed he told me he loved me, which was really sweet, but also a shock if I’m honest and I didn’t know how to respond, so I just hugged him.

The thing is, I don’t know if I love him because I’ve never been in love before, but I know that I fancy him and I love spending time with him. I’m feeling the pressure to say it back, though. What do you think?

Coleen says

If you don’t feel it, don’t say it because one of the most important things in any relationsh­ip is honesty.

I can’t tell you what love is because you have to feel it but, when you are in love, you’ll know it and you’ll probably want to shout it from the rooftops.

Saying “I love you” is a big moment in a relationsh­ip and of course it’s ideal if both partners feel it at the same time.

However, it sounds like your relationsh­ip is still fairly new, so you might just not be there yet.

It doesn’t sound like he’s putting pressure on you, so you shouldn’t put pressure on yourself – you can’t force it.

It might be that you fancy him and love him as a person, but you’re not in love with him, and if that turns out to be the case, then it’s better to admit how you feel than give him false hope.

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