Let’s do this together
Perhaps the biggest sign that I’m middle-aged is finding out that The RHS Hampton Court Flower Festival is my kind of Glastonbury.
I’ve never been to a flower festival before but rockeries are the new rock ’n’ roll.
The nice folk at Miracle-Gro invited me and a plus one to visit their allotments stand and have a look around the festival, which is on this week until Saturday in Henry VIII’s old pad in Richmond upon Thames.
Although goodness knows why I brought my bestie Ali as she knows even less than me about gardening.
Not that she’ll admit it.
“Oh come on,” she said after the second glass of rosé. “I’ve bought flowers from Waitrose. How hard can it be? That practically makes me an expert.”
Saying that, I did feel like I’d been transplanted into the pages of Country Living. Everyone was wearing a straw fedora and floral prints – expect me in my black jeans and khaki jacket.
Miracle-Gro’s press manager
Jayne gave us the low-down on the show.
She says: “While all the celebs go to the Chelsea Flower Show, Hampton Court Flower Festival is for the proper gardeners.”
She added: “Everyone coming to our stand has been talking about slugs all day,” she said, offering me a bag of their new 2 in 1 Nourish and Protect solution.
“No thanks – I couldn’t eat a whole one,” I chuckled, before nearly tripping over the giant brassica on their stand grown by Guinness World-Record grower @giantveg. “Can you imagine bringing this home to feed The Dark
Lord?” I said to my mate. “She’d leave home,” agreed her godmother Ali.
“I’ll get two then,” I asked... but sadly it wasn’t for sale. Every day’s a school day in gardening, and we learned that you can also plant marigolds next to tomatoes as a natural deterrent. We were also very impressed by their model of Earth made from mini succulents and recycled blue fishing rope.
The main theme for the festival this year was planet-friendly planting, and all the show gardens were full of purple flowers to attract the bees.
There was also plenty of prairie planting of grasses and succulents among the shale and rocks. Perfect for people like me who always forget to water the garden. The second most middle-aged thing I did was bring along a mini shopping bag in my handbag, just in case I wanted to buy something from the plant market tent. But it turns out everyone buys plastic trolleys for £15 at the show.
“I may be middle-aged but I’m not old enough for a shopping trolley!”
I firmly told Ali, before we had time to do a quick shuffle through the gloriously-scented rose tent. “Anyway, probably best I don’t buy any plants,” I decided. “They’d be dead within a week in my house.”
Yours, Siobhan
What are the signs you’re getting old? Send your funny ideas to me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner,
PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.