BIG URGE TO HIT BACK AT EX AT PAL’S WEDDING

Dear Coleen

I split with a long-term boyfriend about five years ago. It was his decision, although the relationship hadn’t been good for a while.

At the time, he accused me of all kinds of things that weren’t true – having an affair, flirting with other men and so on.

I got together with my (now) husband quite quickly after we broke up and also had a baby, so I’m sure this all adds to his narrative that I was cheating.

I’m due to see my ex at a mutual friend’s wedding in a few weeks and I want to tell him he was wrong and put some things to rest, but I’m not sure if he’ll talk to me or if it would be appropriate.

Either way, it will be an awkward meeting. I’d love your advice.

Coleen says

Seeing your ex could be a bit awkward, but it’s been five years and you’ve both moved on, so I’d keep it to a smile and a “hello” rather than confronting him over old issues – especially when you’re at a friend’s wedding.

Even if you did tell him your side of things, he might not choose to believe you and it might get heated or unpleasant, which would spoil an otherwise lovely day.

You’re looking for closure on the relationship that you didn’t get at the time, but I don’t think a wedding is the time or place.

You could always follow up the wedding with an email, saying it was nice to see him again and then add a few lines about how you regretted the way you broke up and why.

He might not reply, but at least you’ll have said what you wanted to say. Then put it behind you and focus on the life you have now.