Let’s do this together
I got another disappointed email from The Dark Lord’s RE teacher at the start of the week again complaining the delinquent child had missed her lunchtime detention for being disruptive in class.
Honestly, I don’t know why they bother with the spawn of Satan – she’s clearly beyond any Christian and moral guidance.
I took a screenshot and sent it to The Dark Lord, with some parenting guidance which I hoped she would take a moment to reflect on and see the error of her ways.
“You now have detention after school on Wednesday – be there or you don’t eat for the rest of the week!” I crossly typed.
The teenager then rudely replied, “No. Lols.”
But rather than get angry, I believe revenge is a dish best served lukewarm if not cold (I can’t remember a grudge for that long these days).
Later that afternoon, while Ali and I were trotting around the flower tents at Hampton Court Garden Festival on Monday, I noticed there were some missed calls from TDL.
She’d clearly come home from school expecting her boring mum to be in the same place as usual, and panicked when she’d realised I’d gone.
“Where are you? Why is your phone off?” she texted me in a strop. “Why didn’t you message me?” Followed by the killer line, “I thought you were dead.”
Because that’s the first thing you’d think of when your mum’s unshackled herself from the kitchen sink.
“OK, drama llama. Calm down,” I replied. “Your godmother and I are at a flower festival and we’ve found the mojito stand.”
The stroppy one continued to suck all the joy out of the day. “But you always tell me if you’re going out, but you didn’t even think to mention it,” she texted. “Are you coming back?”
I savoured the delicious moment. “No. Lols,” I typed back, before falling into a fit of infantile giggles with Ali.
In the end we got home way after 8pm having made lots of new BFFs on the quiet carriage on the train home, only to discover my dinner had been made, and the dishes done.
I think I might get lost more often.
■ Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.
Now the war in Ukraine is over five months old, we should all take a moment to reflect on the hardships and losses ordinary people are suffering as Putin continues his relentless shelling of their homes. Self-taught artist Tanya Vickers, 65, lives in Sheffield but is originally from Ukraine. She says: “I feel deeply affected by this conflict. I have many friends there and I am unable to help them. “This is all reflected in my art and I’d like to dedicate my painting to them. It’s called My Heart For You, Ukraine.”
■ Calling all artists, photographers and crafters – send your snaps of your work to siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk and don’t forget to include a selfie, age and location, and tell us what inspires you.