TikTok users are shocked I dress well & have colourful hair.. I don’t fit in that ‘frumpy disabled’ box
When Shelby Lynch used popular track I Wanna Ride on TikTok, back came the reply, “the only thing you’re riding is your wheelchair”.
It might sound horrific being a disabled TikTok user, but these are the things influencer Shelby laughs at now.
“I’ll use a humorous sound to show how ableist they are cos I’m having a good day but if I’m having a sh** day I’ll reply quite sassy to try to educate them.”
Lynch, 23, of Leeds, West Yorks, uses her platform of 440,000 followers to share snippets of living with Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 2, and aims to change the perception of disabled people by talking about sex and fashion.
“I feel like people have a certain view of what disabled looks like and I don’t think I fit that look,” says the self-styled “disabled Bratz doll”.
“They’re always so shocked that I dress really well and that I’ve got colourful hair, I don’t fit into that little box of frumpy disabled person.”
But why do nondisabled people have these stereotypes of disabled people? “It’s a lack of education, we need better education so people aren’t trolling disabled people online,” Lynch says.
Instagram influencer Nina Tame, 41, from Essex, points to the lack of accurate representation. “When we look at disability in the media, it’s generally either very tragic or we’re held up as being these kind of inspirational people, despite our disability.”
Tame also thinks that ableism isn’t always on purpose. “A lot of people don’t even understand ableism is a thing.
“So much of the insults we use tend to be comparing somebody to a disabled person,” she says. “But until you say that to somebody, and get them to take a look at that language, they don’t realise.”
For Tame, the online community is a vital tool for challenging people’s perceptions of disability.
“Social media has been such an amazing platform for disabled voices. And just being able to challenge people’s perceptions away from the narrative they are used to and allowing people to tell their own stories is brilliant,” says
Tame. TikTok has also been great for those with autism, such as Ella Willis, 22, of Newcastle, who started making TikTok videos in response to Sia’s film Music.
The musician received criticism after negatively stereotyping autistic people.
“I literally just wanted to talk about Sia’s film and the horrible autism stereotypes that were in it. And from that it led people to asking me questions about my lived experience,” says Willis, who admits having to be more cautious when posting now.
“It’s really difficult because people just don’t want to go ‘yeah, OK, my favourite celebrity’s ableist, what are we going to do about it?’,” Willis says. “They just want to tear you down for calling them out. So I have to be careful what I say and do. Because I don’t want to lose my account.”
Has it made Willis more cautious to talk? Well, not exactly. “I maybe check my tone a bit because people don’t like it when you raise your voice. They say, ‘I’d have respected you if you weren’t so angry’.
“I’ve every right to be angry, actually. People love to tone check disabled people.”
Tame says the humorous videos aren’t what generate the hate.
“Nobody really brings up the humour. It’s more people are surprised I have a voice, that disabled people are going, ‘we don’t like that’. People are quite affronted by that.”
Not only has using humour changed people’s minds massively, but it makes more sense. Tame says: “I found that with my content, the funny ones are what people engage with more, and I think they take more away from it as well.
“They can find humour in something that might be quite difficult because it still gets the point across.” Tame uses a wheelchair due to Spina bifida and centres her videos around other people’s reactions to disability and calling out ableism.
She is known for her wit and got so sick of people feeling sorry for her because she uses a wheelchair that she coined the catchphrase “keep your pity in your pants”.
“I’d find myself going, ‘no, you don’t need to be sorry, it’s fine. I’ve got a great life!’ And it just kind of came from that.
“Your pity is so misplaced, have empathy for the fact I still can’t get into 50% of shops in my area, and all of those barriers, which you could help fix. Don’t pity my legs because it’s not a thing I feel bad about.”
Although she calls out ableism she is not going to jump down people’s throats for trying to learn. “Nobody’s going to want to do any kind of learning, if they are so terrified that they’re going to get shouted out if they get it wrong,” Tame says.
“When it comes to disability, we’re all going to get it wrong, we’re all just out here doing the best we can with the knowledge we’ve got. Once you know better, you do better, hopefully.”
More than anything, disabled influencers just want nondisabled people to listen to them. “We’re making a difference. But there’s still a long way to go,” says Willis.
Lynch agrees but thinks nondisabled people also need to do more. “It’s important to call out ableism because otherwise it’ll just get worse for us in every aspect of our lives.
“That’s why it’s so important the more disabled people talk about it and the more abled people are our allies.”
I’d go, you don’t need to be sorry, it’s fine, I have got a great life!
NINA TAME ON PEOPLE’S MISPLACED EMPATHY