Hubby’s happy in life but I’m bored

My husband and I are in our early 50s, but we’re both very young at heart, look good for our age and have a 10-year-old daughter, who also keeps us on our toes.

We’ve been together for 20 years and our relationship has always been solid.

My issue is, while I’m happy in the relationship and things are fine, life is very unexciting.

We still have sex once or twice a week and it’s OK, and I do still fancy him, but there’s no chemistry or thrill.

Every day feels the same – school runs, shopping, work and that’s pretty much it.

While my husband is a really good dad and partner, he’s not very dynamic or ambitious and I think he’s happy with the way things are. But I’m not.

His routines and habits are starting to irritate me and I’ve found myself making fun of his interests, his opinions and even the food he likes (very plain).

I hate myself for saying these things, but I’m starting to worry the relationship is on the slide.

He’s not an easy person to talk to about anything serious or deep, so I’ve just being putting off the conversation.

I’d love your advice.

Coleen says

Well, look, you’re being very passive here – why is it only up to your husband to create the excitement in your lives and the thrill in bed?

If you want things to improve, it’s going to take effort from both of you but, first, you have to stop putting off the conversation and tell him how you feel.

He’s not a mind reader and if you’re not speaking up, then he will probably assume you’re fine with the way things are. You sound like you’re in a classic rut – you have stopped making an effort for each other, you’ve got a bit too comfortable and things have become predictable and mundane.

The truth is, the longer you’re together, the more you have to put into the relationship to keep it fun and interesting.

It’s very easy to let things slide when you’re consumed by work, childcare and running the house too.

So you have to put your relationship back at the top of the priorities list and come up with some ideas to help you feel more connected as a couple and not just parents and bill payers.

Start the conversation and ask him how he feels and talk about what would make your relationship better.

And maybe stop making fun of his meat and two veg!

His routines and habits are starting to irritate me