POLLYOMETER

Going up... Madame Two-forks

Talented TikTok-er Kaylee Castleberry’s food photos looked so delicious, followers started begging for recipes… only to be told they weren’t food, they were wax melts. Before you ask, wax melts go in an oil burner (rather than lit directly like a candle) to release a lovely aroma aka presumably not of prawn.

Pork scratchings

Turin University in Italy has done a study into pigs, which discovered that when they fight, their friends step trot in to break it up. Pigs also comfort the pig that came off worse in the rumble. Is it lovely or depressing that pre-bacon is nicer to each other than some of the people who eat it?

Going down... Perthy McPerthface

The last time the public were allowed to vote to name something we ended up with Boaty McBoatface. Says quite a bit about the nation’s morale at the moment that votes have just been counted for what to call Scotland’s Perth Museum, and the landslide winner was Perth Museum.

Good cup, bad cup

This festive mug might seem jolly at first glance, but it’s actually offensive. The tree is upside down, which is unsettling, plus apparently gravity doesn’t exist because the star is somehow staying put. Worse still, what seems like a substantial mug is a lie, because you can only fill the tree bit with liquid. Merry Christmas, we have stolen most of your tea. Ho ho NO.