Spice of strife

ANT & Dec make so many different TV programmes you would perhaps forgive them if they occasionally forgot which was which.

Not that I’m suggesting they slipped an earpiece into Scarlette Douglas’s ear the other night and whispered “Now, ask Boy George about what happened with him and some guy and some handcuffs… and a radiator.”

There was, though, a certain randomness to Scarlette suddenly asking a question that had probably been zipped behind the lips of almost every other campmate since Day 1 of this year’s I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!

Of course, George must’ve been expecting the news that he is actually not a man without conviction to be shared around the campfire at some point. His calm and considered response certainly felt carefully-worded and wellrehearsed enough. Whether he will forgive Scarlette for being the one to bring it up is a different matter.

Indeed, as we prepare to head into the final week, that simmering tension – coupled with the starvation diet of simmering rice and beans – could well spell fireworks.

For those viewers who have enjoyed the Ging Gang Goolie vibe of recent years and who see bullying and offence in almost every human interaction, the prospect of conflict might seem unappealing. They would no doubt prefer it if, in the words of George, the celebs were to “just sit there and talk about biscuits all day.” Meanwhile, those of us who remember the simple, harmless pleasure of a good old-fashioned showbiz ding-dong will be grabbing the popcorn. That’s all I want from the final week. A bit of spice in the camp followed by my favourite four – Jill Scott, Owen Warner, Babatúndé Aléshé and Mike Tindall – doing the climactic Celebrity Cyclone.

Well, that and Ant & Dec supplying the obvious solution to George’s admission that he’s been finding it difficult to feel any warmth from Matt Hancock.

Just stick a radiator in there, lads.

Handcuffs optional.

NB: Re Hancock complaining during Monday’s Bushtucker Trial that “Something’s going up my leg! It’s inside my shorts.” I pleaded with our lawyers to let me write what I was thinking, but they said “Absolutely no way.” Soz.

Following NASA’s latest successful rocket launch, Good Morning Britain space cadet Richard Madeley announced: “We’ll be living on another planet within two to three decades.”

Most mornings I think you already are, Dickie.