Poetry corner

Homophones are words that have different meanings and spellings, but the same pronunciation.

Ivor Seabrook, 80, in Cosby, Leicestershire, has cleverly turned them into this fun verse.

Homophone – sounds OK?

I hear from someone here that they ate at half past eight

They guessed I’m not a guest, seems they knew that I was new

From rows of tables rose a bald man who bawled aloud,

“You’re not allowed in this inn.” I saw he was sore.

A pause. The man pours a glass of wine and I whine,

“Wait. To lose weight, it’s best to drink red, so I read.”

The fat man with no hair rushed at me like a hare

Grabbed me by the waist; there was no time to waste.

I gave him a piece of cake. I meant peace. He said,

“Some days wine leaves me in a daze.” He rued his rude ways.

“Would you please take this wood chair? It’s made of yew. You know?”

When he next pours, maybe he’ll pause, and think. Which one won?