POLLYOMETER

Hissy fit

There is so much that’s wrong in the world, so we have to seek out and grab the positives where we can. For example, if you want to buy a tiny handknitted bobble hat for your snake, you absolutely could. Small business Stargazer Exotics via Etsy, before you ask.

Beef Longwayoff

A family-run butchers in Japan cooked up a scheme to get customers to fork out on their top grade joints of Kobe beef – lure them in with frozen beef croquettes, which they’d knock out 200 of a day on the side. The croquettes became an internet sensation, but due to the production rate, people receiving their box today placed their order a decade ago. Buy yours now and expect them in fully literally 30 years.

Going down Rock’n’Roland

Researchers at Tokyo University have discovered that rats have rhythm. They moved their heads in time with Mozart’s Sonata for Two Pianos, and when the track was sped up or slowed down, adjusted their bobbing to match. Cute? No. But slightly less awful than before we knew this? Also no.

Jimmy Nail

Hate stubbing toes? Well why not protect them with this Stub Stopper in the shape of a mini hard hat then? Oh, because you wouldn’t be able to walk in them, right. Useless then… unless your snake gets a building site job.