Let’s do this together

The Dark Lord spent all day yesterday on the sofa as school was closed. No idea why – the teachers probably needed a mini break before the next three weeks of enforced carol singing.

I know the season of festive concerts breaks Jesse’s aunty Joce, who’s a music teacher. By the time Christmas Day arrives, all her joy to the world has run out and she’s ready to deck anyone who “Fa lalalalalas” in her direction.

Meanwhile, The Dark Lord is preparing herself for the most important month of the year, mainly by leaving “ideas” for her stocking fillers in the Amazon gift basket.

I had to order some printer ink for work, and when I went online to pay, I only just realised in time that I’d narrowly avoided buying a large shopping basket of Foo Fighters-themed gifts.

“Er excuse me, how big is this stocking of yours?” I said, giving her a telly lunch of yesterday’s roast chicken leftovers with the gravy scraped off and stuck in a roll with some cucumber. She looked appalled.

“Well if you’re at home on a Monday, that’s what’s on the menu,” I told her, conveniently forgetting to share the leftover roasties.

“And anyway, why does anyone need Dave Grohl on a keyring or I’m A Number One Foo Fighter Fan plaque? I thought we’d agree to ban wasteful tat? Especially as you’re probably like Fan Number 67 million anyway.”

She’s also been trying to find out what sort of advent calendar I’ve got her this year, which was handy as I’d almost forgotten to sort it out until she reminded me.

“Oh just get me a traditional card one, I don’t like chocolates anyway,” she said casually, which really meant: “If you don’t get me a good one, Christmas is ruined”.

■ Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.