Friendly advice on mates in your life
IT’S getting harder and harder to dislike Camilla Parker Bowles (as she will always be known to us Diana fans).
Off the back of her sterling work managing not to roll her eyes while her husband waged war on various writing implements, she’s now scrapped the position of lady-in-waiting.
So rather than paying some strangers to pretend to like her, she’s going to bung a bit of cash to six of her best mates and hang about with them instead.
They will be called Queen’s Companions, and will provide “support and companionship” as Camilla goes about her presumably largely tedious royal duties and foreign tours.
A senior royal source explains: “At the end of a very busy day, it is nice to have a longstanding friend beside you.”
This modern approach is refreshing (forgive me, Diana!) because as well as doing away with the dusty, uncomfortable notion of servants, it proves the theory that as you get older, you only really need a couple of buddies.
A recent study analysed three million people’s mobiles to see how often they contacted their friends, and proved that the more miles on our clocks, the fewer we have.
Clearly, as family and work obligations leave us with less free time, we’re more picky about who we choose to spend it with – plus as you grow up, all those fair-weather Frankies and Francescas fall by the wayside in favour of people you can count on.
“There are three kinds of friends that everyone needs in their life,” reckons Professor William Rawlins, who has literally written if not the then definitely a book on friendship.
“Someone to talk to, someone to depend on and someone to have fun with.”
Sounds about right… although I respectfully suggest there might be a few more slots to fill than that. I think everyone needs –
The no judgment entertainment friend
You have a Whatsapp group dedicated to discussing Married At First Sight Australia/Real Housewives franchises and you don’t care who knows it (although you would care if anyone apart from her knew it).
The tough love friend
Brutally honest, will tell you the things you don’t want – but definitely need – to hear.
Bonus points if they don’t hold a grudge when you accidentally forget what they said and continue being an idiot anyway.
The good bad influence
An enabler you consult when you’re considering buying something, who’ll assure you that it’s a bargain, you’ll wear it loads, and that it’s totally different to the one you already have. Perfect. If you’d wanted to be talked out of it you would have rung your mum.
The fun friend
When hangovers last as long as they do at this stage of life, wasting this kind of night on the wrong person is harder to recover from than the aforementioned hangover.
The ride or die
When push comes to shove, the only friend who is truly essential.
Knows where the bodies are buried and would help you dispose of more (in a metaphorical rather than Fred West way, ideally.)
Answers the phone in the middle of the night. Is your greatest cheerleader, automatically hates your enemies, tries to feign interest in cats.
Ha! That was a test! Obviously no one could ever be friends with someone who doesn’t have a genuine interest in cats.
Camilla proves the theory, you only really need a couple of buddies