Let’s do this together

My first ever proper Christmas gift from The Dark Lord was a hastily wrapped £2 plastic compact mirror bought from Boots last year.

“My second ever proper present better come gift-wrapped from Harrods and involve jewels and perhaps a small paradise island,” I told TDL in no uncertain terms this week.

She was gobsmacked when I took her aside after Christmas Day last year and told her I was disappointed in coming so low in her pecking order.

“But that’s what you asked for,” she said confused, adding defensively, “And anyway, you’ve always said it was the thought that counts with gifts!”

“Yes – but there wasn’t much thought put into buying that,” I argued. “You just grabbed the nearest bit of plastic tat while shopping for all your friends’ well thought out presents – and all I got was a measly mass-produced mirror.”

In fairness to TDL, she took the criticism to heart and decided to personalise the mirror for me, so now I have a cheap hand-painted plastic mirror which leaves purple stains inside my handbag.

Perhaps this makes me sound ungrateful, but I often think mums can be martyrs and I now refuse to let my unthinking teenager get away with such a crap gift.

When she was little, I was very happy with snot-covered finger paintings or IOU notes to tidy her bedroom (she still owes me big time on those).

But these days she has pocket money and plenty of time to make an effort. In fact, after my complaint, she’s so worried about getting it right this year that she’s already making her Christmas present list.

“I’d better be at the top of that list,” I warned her. “Or you’ll be banished.”

“But you’re so difficult to buy for,” she sighed. “How about another compact mirror then?” I suggested. “But this time, one that suits my personality – vintage, chic, expensive,” I trilled, fluttering my eyelashes.

She rolled her eyes, and said, “Oh my days. What do you want? One that tells you that you’re the fairest in all the land?”

■ Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.

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