We were kids in 1D... My daughter’s brought the colour back into my life
EX-BOYBAND IDOL GROWS INTO LIFE AS A DAD
Zayn Malik is a changed man. The teenager we watched on The X Factor is long gone. And the tortured youngster who struggled with the fame of One Direction is also a distant memory. The reason for both is the same – daughter Khai.
Because becoming a father has finally given Zayn some of the peace he has craved since he first auditioned for Simon Cowell back in 2010.
“I feel like my daughter brought that colour back in my life,” says smitten Zayn, 31. “She just makes me happy. I have so much love in me that I didn’t have before she was born.
“She laughs all day. She wants to do the silliest things and she gains so much excitement from it. She just has a whole fresh perspective on life that had somewhat become grey for me.”
It’s the news fans have wanted to hear for years.
Zayn had been mired in scandals. In 2015, he shocked fans by quitting 1D, blaming stress and saying he wanted to be a “normal 22-year-old”.
He had success with a No.1 solo single PillowTalk and album Made In Mind before his supermodel girlfriend Gigi Hadid completed what appeared to be a dream life by giving birth to Khai.
But Zayn also had his demons: he suffered from an eating disorder while in 1D, then had to cancel solo gigs because of his crippling anxiety. One of his darkest moments was in 2021, when he entered a no contest plea to four charges of harassment against Gigi’s mother Yolanda Hadid.
He was sentenced to 360 days of probation, and anger management and domestic violence education.
It was the end for him and Gigi – but the beginning of Zayn doing the oh-so-American thing of finding himself.
And it turns out the Bradford-born lad is most himself… on his Pennsylvania farm. The new start is mostly thanks to Khai, three.
“She’s a force of nature,” Zayn says of Khai, who he co-parents with Gigi.
“She’s given me maturity. She’s forced my sensibility to become this mature father for her, this good responsible role model that takes accountability for their actions and sticks to their work and proves that my word is bond.”
He adds of his battles with mental well-being: “I think when you get a level of acceptance and love for yourself, then it’s easier. It’s not as much of a struggle.
“It’s been a development over the last years for me. I just got sick of just feeling like there was a cloud over my head.”
These days, Zayn is not close to Harry Styles, Liam Payne and co. But he does regret the way he left things with them.
“The main thing that I always feel bad
ON THE BAND We should have always been there for each other... I feel bad about not enjoying it enough
ON STARDOM I’m not interested in glitz and glam... I just enjoy normal things, taking my daughter camping
about when I look back over my life is not enjoying the band enough,” he says, during his interview with US radio host Zach Sang.
“I feel like I just took things too seriously and I’m grateful that I’m able to be happier now. I had this teen angst thing going on, a chip on my shoulder where I’m like, ‘It’s really cool to just be moody as f*** all the time.’”
It will be music to the ears of those who saw Zayn become distant and aloof, despite 1D being the biggest stars on the planet.
But Zayn reckons any ill feeling and jealousies weren’t helped by the fact they were put together as a band at The X Factor auditions.
It meant that there were suddenly five teenage boys who all wanted to be the lead singer, put into a group and catapulted into a type of fan mania unseen since the days of The Beatles. “We were young kids that were just thrown into this situation,” Zayn says. “Now I can look at it in a positive light and be like, ‘All these guys came from similar backgrounds to me.
They had nothing.
They worked their asses off’. [But] we resented each other to a certain degree because [we felt] we were solo artists that were put in a band.
“[But] It should have never been a competition. We should have always been there for each other.
“I’ve become a more compassionate, caring person. And the thing that I learned is… I could have done that earlier.” Zayn has got more perspective on his love life as well. While in 1D, he dated Little Mix’s Perrie Edwards, even becoming engaged. After their split in 2015, he met Gigi when she starred in a 2017 music video for PillowTalk. It was her family who introduced him to Pennsylvania. Zayn admits he wasn’t the “best version of partner” in their relationship. He also admits he used “alcohol as the replacement” after their split. “I’ve moved on from that situation now,” he says. “I don’t know whether I have ever actually truly been in love.” Between his music, newfound love of growing crops – “chillies, cucumbers, carrots, watermelons, – and, of course, Khai, there isn’t much time for dating… or parties.
He says: “I’m not too interested in the glitz and glam, I just enjoy normal simple things – being around my loved ones, cooking food, taking my daughter camping. “I get asked ‘Why Pennsylvania?’ but I just fell in love with it. It has that safe feeling to it.
“There’s so much nature – you can just sit, contemplate what life is and live like a normal human being.”
Not that Khai gives him a lot of peace and quiet. She’s already a fan of the drums. “She’s got a bit of rhythm,” boasts Zayn. “It’s amazing. You can tell that she could definitely develop that into something.”
Khai is good with lyrics too, Zayn says. “She knows whole songs, like every word, word for word,” he says.
Listening to him, she’s clearly a daddy’s girl. “I’m not the most extroverted human anywhere, so I’m pretty much on my property,” Zayn admits.
“I don’t really go out and do crazy things. We go to Disney on Ice!”